I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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