I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
