Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
