What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
