He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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