I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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