Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
