I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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