yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
