Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
