One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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