I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
