So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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