i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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