So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
