So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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