don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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