Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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