Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
