i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
