Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
