What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
