I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
