Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
