Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
