I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
This couple is walking their pig around campus
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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