apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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