So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
