There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
do nipples grow back?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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