at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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