blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
