i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
