best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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