There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
