Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
