isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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