Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
