dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
