Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
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