if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
