Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize