I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
