We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
