TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
My life is pants optional.
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