I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
