Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
