did you get engaged???
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
