piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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