I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
