In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
tell me about the eggs
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