Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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