The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
