...so i touched it.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
