I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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