dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
