I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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