He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
