i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize